Tahiry, Joe and Kaylin Triangle of Love
Breathe. Take in air. Exhail. Then repeat the process a couple times over before you tackle the big issue which stands before you. Kaylin is such a beautiful girl but she is being so naive with this whole issue with Joe. Even before it got to this crazy place with their relationship, everyone pretty much guessed Joe was playing with Kaylin a little and if you didn’t realise here was the major clue. Joe invites Tahiry backstage when his current girlfriend is with him all so he can tell Tahiry ‘no’ he can’t be on the track because he’s got to consider his girlfriends feelings. Fast forward; to the moment when Joe says to Kaylin that “with or without her consent he was going to the DR”. Hold your horses; before he had to consider Kaylin’s feelings and now he doesn’t care. Classic psychological bullshit; excuse the language but that is essentially what this is, straight “scumbaggery”. There is no triangle of love; it has always been Tahiry over Kaylin and she should have shut down his relationship with his ex. Read the article nice guys finish last; it applies to women too. Nice girls can finish at the bottom as well, no matter how good looking you are; Joe has point blank proved that. And just a side tracked thought; how does a man just stay friends with an ex with a body and fire in the belly like Tahiry. If you didn’t understand the difference in the two women let me point it out.
Too trusting, too kind, too understanding
Kaylin is too sweet for someone like Joe; she trusts and understands situations way too easily. When a women/man is too good and too understanding; individuals often abuse that trust bestowed to them by a partner. Without going to deeply Tahiry never gave Joe that; she had complexities, baggage and fire in her belly which challeneged Joe, which engaged Joe, which made Joe want to fight back. Why did i get married too? “You can fight with someone unless they get in the ring.” Kaylin never got in the ring; even when Joe is saying he’s going to DR, she should’ve flipped and gone crazy, MIA/FBI/CIA/Mi6 on Joe’s ass, but instead she choose to be “understanding”. Are you going to be patient and loving in every situation; because Jojo tell you something everyone feels safer with boundaries set by others. Anybody whose been in a relationship where boundaries are the skies limit will know you don’t feel loved or safe. Kaylin has failed to set sufficient boundaries on the most important of issues and now she’s paying the price; there is also an argument that Joe was never really down for Kaylin the way she was down for him but alas that’s “her business” as somebody wise would say to me.
In any given relationship there is always a balance of powers and often it favours the male within the relationship; no given relationship is equal. Before you argue understand that if you’re relationship was equal then you’d be at a stalemate; when you come to a fork in the road, you’ll both want to lead or both want to follow. One has to be the greater in power so that the other will follow; that does not mean you have no say but it means you have majority share as a shareholder who owns 55% and another owns 45%. In Joe and Kaylin’s relationship, it was easily eight percent Joe and twenty percent Kaylin and the reason for that was she gave him all her power. One way she did this was she admired him too much for taking her in when she was homeless. Remember Stevie J and Jocelyn and how he always used the quip “take your ass to the strip club”, it is a method of gaining power over an individual. Joe didn’t even need to say that to Kaylin; she was just too willing to give him all her power and as Kayne says “No one man should have all that power.” As i mentioned above it always leads to an individual abusing that trust of power assigned to them. Now look what he just said to her “going with or without your consent,” you no longer have any stockholder options in this company, vamoose.
Know yourself, then know the game and then know your position
Life is sadly a game ladies and Gentlemen and you’ve got to know exactly how to play it to your advantage, you also have to know yourself otherwise you will become lost in this devious world and knowing that in turn will let you know your position/role in life. Kaylin just about knows herself but i doubt she knows the game because if she did she would’ve never allowed this game Joe was playing to go on as long as it did. At times we kid and purposely blind ourselves to the things that happen in our relationship because we fear the bubble of happiness will be burst but life is not all bubbles and often the truth hurt. In this case Kaylin allowed Joe to be so honest with her that you wonder if he said “i just came back from Tahiry’s and we had sex,” she would have thanked him for being so open and honest. This is real life and human beings unfortunately just aren’t that openly truthful about themselves and their actions. Joe played his position and acted like he was so open with her but he wasn’t; wake up and smell the kenco coffee.
Lies look like the real truth
Joe was lying and wrapping it up like truth; he knew he still had feelings for Tahiry his ex and if you doubt that, why did he insist on continually talking to her even though she claimed she wanted nothing to do with him. Why did he continually turn up at her work place? Friends? Readers check your relationships; who is your man/Wife saying is just a friend but really is masking the true intentions of that friend or towards that friend. Human beings are at heart deceitful and it may seem cynical but most of us knew how to lie before we told the truth; most of us prefer the lie to the truth, society is the biggest liar because it pretends that it loves and rejoices in truth, yet the lie is sweeter to taste. Classic Line “you can’t handle the truth,” Kaylin must’ve had her head buried in the sand like some ostrich if she didn’t see that Joe’s behaviour was not one constituted by a good boyfriend; what reason did Joe have for continually visiting Tahiry or talking to Tahiry. Who did he call when his drug problem resurfaced, you guessed it Tahiry, even the mum wanted Tahiry’s help. If you actually sat down with all the evidence and complied it into usable data, you’d have seen Kaylin that Joe had never taken his heart with him, he only took a holographic image of his feelings to your relationship but instead of Kaylin being intuitive and seeking the truth, she let the lies talk cotton candy talk until the real truth hit right in the face.
Tahiry and Joe Want a woman not a girl
Contrary to what Kaylin may say; Joe looks at her in comparison to Tahiry and for him there is no contest and there hasn’t been a contest from the beginning of the programme. Tahiry to Joe is a woman and Kaylin is still a girl; and you have to look at how he treats Kaylin to Tahiry. He is fine and confident enough to express every thought and feeling inside that head of his but when it comes to Tahiry he tries to play it smart, sneaky and manoeuvres about without telling her whole truths. Unfortunately the level of respect he has for Tahiry is relatory to the level of power she had in the relationship Joe and her had. Joe and Kaylin have an eighty/twenty relationship and because of that he lacks the same respect and is not scared of Kaylin emotionally. With Tahiry we watched how emotional he got and how hard it was for him to express his truest thoughts; he can’t drop little verbal bombs like “I’ll do what i want when i want.” His whole demeanour and behaviour is different around Joe, let’s be honest he loves the women and he approaches Tahiry differently because he fears/respects the fact the woman could actually hurt him emotionally. That is why Tahiry is a woman and Kaylin is a girl.
Tahiry has one of the most curvaceous bodies we’ve seen on love and hip hop and i’ve mentioned it earlier, that is an Ex Joe is still talking to openly. The break up wasn’t long ago and old wounds are never being given the time to heal; if emotionally they cannot close the chapter, then you better believe that sexually the chapter cannot and will not be closed until emotionally they’ve broken ties. Tahiry summed it up for us as viewers that sexually they were still in tune; she said at her fundraiser event to Joe “your only coming because you think we’re going to have hot lusty sex together on the beach.” So you know exactly what Joe’s intentions are, so you described it with adjectives like “hot and lusty,” how can you not believe that there isn’t a sexual attraction still when she describes intimate actions with a man who has a girlfriend.
Sometimes you don’t know how good something is till it’s gone
As Joe Budden sat on the couch in a wooly hat in DR, he was visibly was caught up with emotion but he said something so interesting “I’ve grown up since then.” How does one know when they have grown up into a mature individual able to handle a past relationship with far more capability and care? Answer is we don’t know but actions do speak louder than words and we’ll be able to see if Joe has really grown up since the last time they were together. During the time spent apart Joe realised just how much had gone wrong with Tahiry and he could only do that by going outside his relationship and looking in. Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and that was exactly what the issue with Joe was, he didn’t fully appreciate the kind of woman he had. Listen everyone needs a woman that will push them, nag them and support them, Kaylin did the supporting but nothing else and Joe realised that Tahiry insulting him in the relationship was more than just useless nagging. That was her way of communicating to him that things needed changing; only once he’d lost that and gained a woman who didn’t assume that role did he realise.
They were always going to get back together and that was inevitable because Tahiry never fully shutdown Joe and Budden never stopped seeking his ex. He thought he was slick in his game but unlike Stevie J, there is only truly one woman for him and that is his ex. Notice at the party how defensive he got over her with Rocky, notice again how he forced Rocky into a situation where she had to apologise to Tahiry, who did he call to his beckoning aid during relapse, who did his mum call, where is he now. Case closed and Kaylin being homeless is really none of Joe’s concern. You should’ve been more ready for change, nothing lasts especially when you rely on a man. You got played out of position and now you don’t know where to turn. #JoeWins