Dreams to Nightmares, Nightmares to Dreams
Benny awoke in a struggle from his bad dream and immediately sought out the comfort of the empty space besides him. He was alone tonight and in his heart he could feel the annoying pain of heartbreak taking control of his mind. How could he be missing Karmel already it had only been a few hours; but perhaps because he hadn’t been in a bed without her for so long, too long he thought. He was used to swiping away her light skinned vine like arms from his face and pushing away her hard knee in his back. Bed time was forever a battle with his girlfriend now turned ex and he gained many sleepless nights, but he was so used to it that being without it, almost felt abnormal. At least now he could sleep with the covers and not fear them being torn from him deep in the night. So why was he waking up in the night in a cold sweat having bad dreams? If this was the extent of the break up; he wasn’t sure how long he could stay in this state.
Benny walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, squinting at the bright lights invading his sight. He grabbed a bottle of volvic and sucked it dry within seconds. The thoughts of last night began to daunt on him as he replayed the words they exchanged last night in his head. He had no doubt that he loved her but in recent months he had become unsure of how she really felt about him and he’d finally had enough of feeling under appreciated. It was crazy though, when they were good, they were good but when they were bad it was like there was a war going on between them. He grabbed another bottle of volvic and slowly emptied out the clear contents into his gullet, and went back to thinking. Nothing tasted better than water when your throat was choking up with the sands of the Sahara. Life was just getting good too; he had just received his promotion at work and was now a HR manager at RCC. So they could finally move into a house so they could progress with their future; he had thoughts of marriage and kids and the whole nine yards. Now he wasn’t sure where the hell they were going with this thing they called a relationship. Why was he surprised his relationship was done? The cracks were huge and evidently to his closet companions, he should’ve listened and split amicably a long time ago, but how could he just give up on Karmel? This was the woman he loved for goodness sake, and he should just give up on four and half years because of hard times? Somehow they always managed to cover up the cracks but it was a problem never rectified and that was why they were here. The small leaks in their relationship, finally lead to the roof caving in. One thing struck him though, in life once you’re comfortable with money, health, you suffer relationship problems. If your partner is fine then either your health or finances suffer. You could be satisfied for any given moment of time; but life would always find a way to make things difficult. She was his first love and he was her first love; which made the situation all the more difficult to leave. They both didn’t know, no better but the mistakes were irreversible; each of them tattooed by the others mistakes. Picture perfect like a Picasso, but up close the different brush strokes of their relationship showcased their imperfections
‘I am glad you two have broken up,’ stated Kanesha. ‘I mean how many times are you guys gonna do the song and dance routine, break up to make up’ she commented, stretching her hand forth and looking at her green painted nails.
‘Yeah I guess,’ murmured Karmel, giving her other hand to the nail assistant sitting across from her.
‘Maybe I’m being harsh on Benny but you deserve so much more.’
Kanesha looked at her nails in delight and asked for a gloss finish before returning back to their conversation.
‘Let me hook you up with someone decent; with someone who might put a few more pounds in your pocket,’ winked Kanesha with a naughty smile on her face.
‘No hooks up,’ rejected Karmel nervously biting her lip. ‘I just want some time too myself really.’
Kanesha rolled her eyes to the heavens. ‘Didn’t this boy dump you for the first time in this relationship?’
‘So that means he’s got something on the side he feels is better,’ proclaimed Kanesha, surprised her friend was acting so naively about this situation.
‘No,’ replied Karmel defiantly, certain of her answer. ‘He wouldn’t do that, he loves me too much.’
‘Oh honey, they all start off like that in the beginning but end up disappointing us all,’ informed Kanesha. ‘Your man is no different; he has a penis like every other man.’
Karmel listened but took some of the advice and opinions of her friend with a pinch of salt. It wasn’t that the fact her best friend failed to hold a man down in their forever long friendship but because her way of thinking was so sceptical and untrustworthy of the male species. Every women already knew that a man was capable of being a dog but if you don’t trust or believe your man to be different, then why bother being in a relationship with them at all. She trusted Benny, but it was her insecurity that sometimes took over, he was too good to be true. He was everything and more; handsome, funny, loving, romantic and dependable but no man should be that perfect or so society tells us. Karmel smiled to herself; Benny never liked arguing which made her want to argue even more. It was one of the most frustrating things about him; he was virtually impossible to argue with, so she found herself doing things to just piss him off so he would argue. The logic in her head sounded flawless but in truth she sounded mad but that was her world and that was what made sense to her. Last night on the other hand didn’t make sense to her; she was so confident he’d come strolling back through her doors and jump immediately into bed, but to her unwavering confidence he didn’t. The front door stayed firmly shut and she clung onto her covers like she was holding onto the hope that her man would return. She couldn’t sleep that night, her stomach growled and fluttered in fear and pain as her tears flooded her pillow. That wasn’t like her at all; she disliked crying and preferred being angry, it was a more befitting emotion for her. This was new territory for her, she was the one usually breaking it up and he was the one usually chasing like the handsome puppy he was after her. She liked it that way because then she knew he really cared about her as much as she cared about him. He would call, text or make an appearance first she told herself as he always did in the past.