Should i forgive a cheat

They say once a cheat always a cheat but doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? But before you extend that second chance you might want to consider a few things.

Likelyhood to cheat again
There are individuals who have perfect track record up until that moment. Their natural nature isn’t to be flirtatious, they were very open about their business to you and they never made you feel inadequate or like you couldn’t trust them until now. The one time cheaters who genuinely have made a grave mistake. What is your partners behaviour typically is the oppposite; very flirty, too friendly or touchy feely or very chatty chatty to the opposite sex. This is their nature and their being, it is very hard to change that aspect of your behaviour so it could be harder for you to trust them in the long run. Behavioural types which float close to the fire will more than likely want to be close to the edge once more.

What type of cheating
There are different ways to cheat and all of them result in the same feelings of betrayal and broken trust. But the way and individual cheats is very important to the question whether a leopard can change its spots. A man whose been having an affair for X amount of years is more likely not to be trusted. A simple moment of madness ranging from a kiss to full intercourse can be forgiven far more easily but does that constitute to them never cheating again? A moment of madness is exactly what it says on the tin, one mad moment.

Did they confess?
In truth if you never confronted him/she they would have never told you. These individuals need to find the roadside in your life. Guilty parties who come forward are more than likely worthy of your forgiveness.

Can you see yourself trusting them?
When a partner cheats the affects are psychological and the mind makes it very hard to trust an individual again. Are you a person who will freely trust your partner again without making them pay for it? If you know that spiteful gene is within you, don’t bother trying to give second chance because you’ll hurt yourself and them greatly.

Are they willing to do what it takes to regain your trust?
Trust costs nothing and can be given freely, but once its broken, it costs more than anything in this world to purchase back. Sorry people even mastercard can’t help you with this one. Is your partner doing everything in their power to regain it; giving away your passwords to phone, social media and whatever else they keep hidden might be a start. Are the accepting full responsibility and treating you like you walk on water after the event? Are they trying hard to win you back? You are not crazy to ask such a things because is this is not a request, you need to demand it.

What measures or promises have been made to prevent this situation arising once more.
It is important that after such an event big promises are made that a repeat showing will never happen again. Are they promising big things? Are they promising never to do it again? Even with such standard promises, there needs to be measure put in place to demonstrate a change in attitude, change in behaviour and change in processes in order to have a different end result. Have they put measures or a plan in place? If its not forthcoming, then perhaps they aren’t serious about their repentence.

Not everyone who cheats deserves a second chance and not everyone who cheats will cheat again. In truth every person is different but ask yourself is that person likely to cheat again? If you really believe so why are you still reading this, remove them from the fabrics of your life already. Especially if they are serial cheats; you cannot change them to stop trying to. Jojo has spoken.


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