Why Men cheat has long been a question on many people’s minds but as we can all agree Men cheat for all types of reasons, and the reasons are as long as one’s arm. Many men will disagree with the next statement but if they really sit down and digest what is being said they might understand the view point. Men are physically stronger than our female counter parts but we’ll always be weaker in comparison when it comes to sexual discipline. There will be men who shout and say “we can resist our sexual urges,” nobody doubts that a few can be disciplined but the majority of men are like children told they can’t have the cookie from the jar. Why? Because we don’t equate sex typically to our emotions, so cheaters fail to see cheating as an emotional breakage of trust and love. Men typically think in a more logical way; men cheat because our body’s lust after sexual desires of the flesh, men cheat “men can love their wives but having sex with another woman is just exactly that, sex.” Meaning in more than most males minds, cheating doesn’t equate to not loving your spouse. Males detach sex from emotion and make sex just an enjoyable activity that one must indulge in. So it has and always will be easier for men to cheat on women because of the detachment of sex from emotion. Know that females you too have a part to play in the role of a cheating man too.
This is something all of us can identify with; our human body has wants and needs. The need to gratify the body sexually is one of them; cheating is a forbidden fruit of temptation that can entice a man from his relationship. IF we are honest, being bad is sometimes much more fun than being good, the urge to do wrong can be extremely appealing.
Simply put sometimes one is just not enough for some men. We are all capable of being greedy in some format in our lives at some time. Some are greedy for cake, some for attention and some is sexual partners. For some men one sexual partner is a limitation on them.
Some men are just about thinking about themselves and only caring about wanting to bring happiness to themselves. They may cheat because it really is all about them and what they want.
Sick as it sounds but cheating can be a thrill and an adrenaline rush for some men. It’s a bit like a child being told “no they can’t eat the cookie from the jar”; sneaking around & stealing one without anybody knowing is all but the carousel of fun.
One might think that if you have issues committing or a fear then don’t step into a relationship arena. Another may say how does one overcome a fear without actually facing them directly and conquering it. One thing is for sure and that a fear of commitment can lead to a male cheating because that in their head nullifies their vulnerability and fear of being hurt by the one they love.
The male might be cheating on you because he simply has no respect for you. No ifs or buts he just doesn’t think you have enough worth to stop him from cheating. He doesn’t consider you an equal and thus treats you as such.
Some men don’t like the feeling of being crowded. Women can sometimes over step into a males space which makes them feel like firstly they have no ‘me’ time and two they have no breathing space to do exactly that ‘breathe.’ Males will find solitude in another woman who gets the balance right.
GOD GIVEN RIGHT
Seriously some men think it is their God given right as men to be able to sleep with whom and whoever they want. They may justify themselves religiously for example David in the bible had more than one wife and many concubines. Justification.
IF YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH IT
If you have the ability to get away with a crime most of us would commit it, some men believe that they are above the relationship laws and choose to cheat because they believe they will never be found out.
There are women out there who are literally just a conquerable mountain for a lot of men. They are good to add to the tally of great women a man has slept with. It’s a male pride kind of thing, it is like the huntsmen and wanting his Gain on his wall.
You will be surprised how desirable your male can become once he sports “I’m taken” badge. Some women will be filled with jealousy and envy, wanting what you have because they lack such a quality of man in their life. So those cunning enough will chase and hunt your man down like she is the lion and your man is the Antelope. The film Obsessive is a great example of a man being hounded by a woman; not every man is as strong as Idris Elba.
It sounds cliché doesn’t it? But truthfully some woman can really nag and harass their male counter parts. What the nagging does is actually strip a male of control in the relationship which makes a male feel like he has no power thus tearing down the “males Ego and PRIDE”. Also everyone needs their personal space within a relationship and constant nagging robs a male of that necessity. Who wants to be reminded constantly of things they must do, they married their wife not their mum.
SUBMISSIVNESS /MALE EGO
Some women don’t know how to be submissive in a relationship and let their man be a man. Once a woman starts taking on a man’s duty in a relationship, a male with his EGO and Pride will seek control and the ability to exercise his manhood elsewhere since he cannot exert it in the home.
Some women will invade the privacy of their partner with their possessiveness of mistrust. It would seem crazy that your girlfriend accusing you of cheating on her every time you come through the door will lead you to cheating. But some will feel that their being pushed away by their partners behaviour and if you are going to be accused every time you may as well have done something is a rhetoric men have used. Coming home to accusations can leave a man wanting an escape and another female is the perfect replacement.
RELATIONSHIP WAS DEAD
A relationship can be dead in the water for the man, he might not have expressed such thoughts but there can be a presumption. Example the last few months he has slept in the spare room away from his woman. In his head he could feel the relationship is finished and he assumes the sleeping arrangements & no sex is a clear sign that the relationship is in an unrecoverable position. Rather than quitting they cheat naively or purposefully thinking or knowing the other person did or didn’t feel the same way. Some will cheat to have a reprieve from the dead relationship.
EASIER CHEATING THAN BREAKING UP
Isn’t the heading funny? Sections of men will find it easier to cheat because it forces the relationship to press the self destruct button and out they go freely. Men know you’ll be hurt but at least it will be finished; ironically the man saying let’s end it “cause I messed up”, makes you females want to forgive and retry even more.
NO SEX/ NOT ENOUGH SEX/ MUNDANE SEX
Sex is such an important aspect of a relationship and to deprive your husband or boyfriend can only quicken or push a male to getting that pleasurable desire quenched elsewhere. Some men would love more sex but cannot seem to get that increased input from their wives for several reasons; a craven man starved of a sexual quenching will inevitably find a way to drink. When you are hungry and you have no food at home¸ where do you go? The shop, the same goes for a man. All relationships reach a plateau and at that stage where one needs to spice and change a few things in the bedroom. As a female if you fail to want to be more extravagant in those activities, then as stated above we know what can happen. He will go to one who will feed him.
Influences that steam from a female side to push a man to cheat are always derived from a lack of EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. We all communicate in a relationship; whether it is body language, spoken through odd sounds such as grunts and groans, spoken words or even actions. But are these effective? Often we speak but forget communication needs to be two actions; speaking and being able to listen. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is when both parties are listening and talking but at the end come to an understanding of both party’s feelings and thoughts. Without this the above reasoning and more will more than likely take place.
HOLISTICAL ANALYSIS OF CHEATING
Cheating cannot be excused nor justified but there is a deeper reasoning for why Men are influenced to taking that bolder step to cheat.
As an adult your adulthood perception, values, attitudes and opinions are based on your youth and what you’ve experienced during that time.
The home is where a lot of us have learnt life lessons and consolidated life ideologies about what a relationship should be like. How is a young male mind influenced by seeing his dad having many multiple women other than his mum? Such witnessing of consistent cheating behaviour can make a young man grow inclined to cheating and normalise cheating as regular male behaviour; regardless of how much pain he saw his mother go through. Remember males think logically first before emotion. It can become easier for that male to fall into the same cycle as their father; hence the phrase the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree right? How does a male know how to be monogamous when he’s never experienced the full family unit; he hasn’t seen the family unit for himself, how do you expect a man to last a course of a lengthy relationship without cheating without the knowledge firsthand of a good family unit?
The environment you were reared in can plant future seeds of becoming a cheater. If you’re youthful environment was filled with individuals who failed to be faithful, rejoiced in unfaithfulness and encouraged you to be unfaithful, the residue of their cheating spirit will have undoubtedly rubbed on you to varying degrees. Depending on how susceptible you are to that type of sin? All the cheating experiences you acquire attach themselves to your the darker nature, which only needs a bad situation for it to emerge. The seed can lie dormant in your dark side for years on end until an individual awakens the right triggers to activate the cheating disease in a male.
Our current society, males can get away with far too much without being brought up to account. A Male cheating is considered automatic and something that is a formality that females should get. Life isn’t fair but should a female cheat our society, we would brand her like a leaper and tag them with labels. Yet we produce ideal conditions for the man by palming off their indecencies as our male chauvinistic culture dictates. Truly it’s truly a man’s world. Thus men are in power, they make up the rules thus they feel they can do what they want.
There are too many reasons as to why a male cheats and the lists of excuses will continue to grow, but importantly we cannot ever justify the actions of a cheater. Although it is also important to understand that cheating isn’t just a spur of the moment incident, there is a build up to that moment from the seed planted from childhood to the words of consent and soft condemnation in the future. Even if the individual is an opportunistic cheater and the opportunity to cheat falls in his lap, the decision to follow through has been compromised by the past influences. He had cheated well before the point of action. Free will and Temptation play a role too but your actions are dictated by your experiences and thus will tailor how you handle situations of this nature in the future. Your future is your past. Men can never say they will not cheat unless they have been tested by a female they are actually attracted to sexually. How does one claim faithfulness without the test? Just because you are a loyal male don’t think your woman can’t cheat. DON’T GET COMPLACENT. Lastly to make it clear once again, just because a man cheats does not mean he does not love his spouse; sex and emotion are like water and oil they don’t mix. Some cheating is merely weakness and greed of the body. Jojo has spoken.